I haven't blogged for such a long time, and only choose to do it on 初二 of the Chinese New Year. But this year is definitely better than the previous few years, considering that I've lost some weight to look last-minute okay, enhanced by unskilful make-up. But I can't help but still feeling down over some issue, I think I will take a long time to heal, I imagine how long you'd to take - inifinity.
It leads me to rethink about life - why am I studying for - is it merely for the 4.8(GPA)? Is life just about studying and being pretty? I used to be a little mouse with a tiny voice; never dared to show my thoughts. - but I thought about it: I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Life is short and so unpredictable. I want to express the things I want to. And do the things that I want to. So and not to do the things that I don't want to - despite the huge influence of peer pressure. Peer pressure is a killer. I don't wanna succumb to it anymore.(not in the bad way of course - it has its merits) but most of all, not to envy nor despise on anyone based on their attributions; ascribed traits.
Sem 2 is a huge disaster. I can't keep up with the readings(especially I hate tiny words) and I can't understand most of the time in lessons. Yet I don't dare to voice out because I don't think I am an A student with great potential in writing or thinking. But I still love the works of many philosophers and history and of course sociologists, and even geography. So, I am not giving up just because of these little barriers. I will move on because I know life is far greater than this.
I slept the whole day today, that explains why I'm still not in bed now. I feel stressed. And I can't stop eating. It's unhealthy but I'm still figuring a way out to combat it. I know everyone's stressed out, sighs.
In short, Chinese New Year has come to more or less a conclusion. Nothing outstanding from the past, except that everyone seems grown up now, and the young kids are no longer happy. We missed the days we sweated and panted while playing block catching, and we floated(literally) on the Sentosa beach - in our utopia, there wasn't sadness, there were only play and fun. We reminisced the days.
It leads me to rethink about life - why am I studying for - is it merely for the 4.8(GPA)? Is life just about studying and being pretty? I used to be a little mouse with a tiny voice; never dared to show my thoughts. - but I thought about it: I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Life is short and so unpredictable. I want to express the things I want to. And do the things that I want to. So and not to do the things that I don't want to - despite the huge influence of peer pressure. Peer pressure is a killer. I don't wanna succumb to it anymore.(not in the bad way of course - it has its merits) but most of all, not to envy nor despise on anyone based on their attributions; ascribed traits.
Sem 2 is a huge disaster. I can't keep up with the readings(especially I hate tiny words) and I can't understand most of the time in lessons. Yet I don't dare to voice out because I don't think I am an A student with great potential in writing or thinking. But I still love the works of many philosophers and history and of course sociologists, and even geography. So, I am not giving up just because of these little barriers. I will move on because I know life is far greater than this.
I slept the whole day today, that explains why I'm still not in bed now. I feel stressed. And I can't stop eating. It's unhealthy but I'm still figuring a way out to combat it. I know everyone's stressed out, sighs.
In short, Chinese New Year has come to more or less a conclusion. Nothing outstanding from the past, except that everyone seems grown up now, and the young kids are no longer happy. We missed the days we sweated and panted while playing block catching, and we floated(literally) on the Sentosa beach - in our utopia, there wasn't sadness, there were only play and fun. We reminisced the days.
posted by Rain (; at
03:18
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